Why Are You Stuck?


You know why people get stuck in repetitive thought patterns, habitual reactions, and emotional triggers?​

Because they’re comfortable there. ​

That’s not to say they like it. For most, it’s just the opposite. ​

But it’s also their “Cheers”. ​ The place where everyone knows their name, and where there’s a metaphorical barstool reserved just for them. ​

If you think about it from that perspective, it’s not hard to understand why so many people choose to stay stuck for significant periods of time. ​

(And I am using the word “choose” very intentionally.)​

Here’s another aspect of moving forward that holds so many people back. ​

In order for anyone to move forward, they must leave something behind. ​

Think back to the Cheers example above. ​

If one of the characters were to get up and move forward by walking out of the bar, what would they be leaving behind?​

Their friends. Their support system. Their comfort and security. (and their beer! )​

And so it is with us. ​

See, here’s the problem. ​

Misery loves company.​

Once you start moving in a forward, positive direction, you will probably experience what’s known as the “change back” effect, from your friends and loved ones. ​

They don’t want you to change.​

They like the status quo. Your change is scary to them. ​

So they push back. Sometimes, pretty damn hard. ​

It may sound like, “What are you spending money on that for?”​

“You don’t need to change anything. Everything is fine the way it is.”​

“You’re going to cancel on us Friday night...again?”​

“Why do you want to change your life? Aren’t you happy with me?”​

When this happens (and it will), you’ll find yourself with an important decision to make. ​

Do you continue forward into the scary, uncomfortable unknown? ​

Or do you move back into predictable, stagnant comfort?​

Change is never easy. It doesn’t always feel good. ​

But there’s no other way to grow. ​

And to grow, you must be absolutely committed to your journey. ​

Sometimes, that means letting go of things and people no longer serve your goals and your vision. ​

Even if it breaks your heart. ​

Even if it scares you to bits and pieces. ​

Even if you think you could never live without them. ​

(Trust me, you can.)​

Listen, I would never presume to tell you what you should prioritize. ​

I will just say, for me, if I have to make a choice, I will always choose myself. ​

I will always choose to be the best version of myself. I will always choose the road less traveled. I will always choose growth, even if it means loss. ​

And I will always make these choices with absolute commitment and fortitude. ​

Remember this; heartache fades. ​

But the rewards of creating growth and self-awareness are immeasurable, life-changing, and life-affirming. ​

I hope you always choose you. ​ ​

Sending you all so much love. ​

❤️ Alissa

P.S. Let me know if this resonated with you. What emotions came up when you read it?​



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