The Aftermath of Betrayal

What is betrayal?

According to, betrayal is "the act of disappointing a person's trusts, hopes, or expectations."

To me, betrayal is a gut punch. It's a violation of trust that can often never be recovered.

It's always between two or more people.

Or is it?

But here's the dirty little secret about betrayal.

It's also a loss of faith in yourself.

When a betrayal is fresh, there's the feeling of disbelief, right?

"Did that really just happen?"

Or confusion.

"Maybe I misunderstood."

Then comes reality setting in.

"Oh, my God, I can't believe he/she did that."

Anger is next.

"That fucking asshole. I can't believe he/she did that to me."

Here's the tricky part.

Some of that anger is directed at yourself.

Because you feel duped and taken advantage of.

Some of these phrases might go through your head:

"I should have seen it coming."

"How could I have ever trusted him/her?"

"I should have trusted my instincts."

But what you're really saying is:

Ouch. Those are some harsh, scary words.

It’s a lot easier (and feels much safer) to continue blaming others. That keeps the mental status quo and reinforces our view of the world. It’s easy.

But it’s a false sense of security, isn’t it? Because the next time this happens, you’ll get further entrenched into the mindset that the world is not a safe place.

That’s a much harder problem to fix than just walking away.

Firstly, because most of us would rather feel anger than fear. Again, It’s safer. It doesn’t require any vulnerability at all.

And second, if we acknowledge that it’s us that needs to change our mindset, we’re compelled to do just that. And here’s the really challenging part about that.

We have to stop being victims. We have to stop looking outward to find the root of the issue and instead, start looking inward. We have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. And few people want to do that.

Hey, I’ve been right here. I know how hard it is. How much more you’d rather just stay angry. Or scroll through Facebook or Instagram. Or take a nap. Or have a root canal.

But I can tell you this with absolute certainty. Confronting those demons and staring them down will set you free.

And when I say free, I mean it. You’ll be so grounded in your own self-worth and your place and purpose in the world, that it will absolutely set you free - from worry, from self-doubt, from the words, actions, and whims of others.

Get it? There's true freedom in being grounded.

Then you can not just enjoy, but cherish the rich, full experience of life that you are meant to have.

How did this post sit with you? I’d love to hear what emotions/reactions came up and if it resonated.

Sending you all so much love.

❤️ Alissa

So, whaddya think?

If this post resonated with your or made you feel something, please let me know. Your comments mean so much to me and who knows, it might be exactly what someone else needs to hear!

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