Staring Into the Abyss

Have you ever stared straight into the abyss?​

I have. It's scary as hell. ​

I used to be a heavy drinker. Like, it took me two days to go through a 1.5 liter bottle of wine. ​

I loved my Yellow Tail Shiraz/Grenache blend. ​

On a Sunday evening, I ran out of wine. I couldn't go to the store for more because blue laws were in effect. ​

I kind of panicked. ​

And then I remembered. ​

I had two airplane bottle sizes of liquor in the cabinet. One was Kahlua and the other was vodka. ​

I drank them both. Separately. Over ice. ​

And then I had the epiphany. ​

"What the fuck am I doing?"​

I knew in the deepest part of my soul that I had just put one foot down a very slippery slope. ​

So I pulled myself back up. ​

I stopped drinking on a daily basis. Now, it's a "once in a blue moon" type of occurrence. I can enjoy it within reason.​

Here's the lesson. ​

It was my self-awareness that pulled me back from that edge. ​

it was the ability to look into the future and say, "That's not how it's going to go."​

And the strength to choose a different path. ​

I'm not special. I don't have magical powers. ​

Every one of you has this power inside of you, too. ​

Is there an abyss you're staring into now?​

Sending you all so much love. ❤️ Alissa

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