It's Okay to Take Some Help Sometimes

I have an anxiety disorder. ​

For me, anxiety feels like a lifetime of raw nerve endings. Something was always painfully jabbing at me. Never allowing me any peace. Never allowing a thought to stay in my head. ​ ​

Reminding me that my entire adult life had been shit. ​

I wrote a post about that a while ago. ​

I talked about how, at 42 years old and in the wake of the implosion of my second marriage, I truly felt that my entire adult life had been shit. ​

It was a terrible place to be. It's what an anxiety disorder will gleefully do to you. ​

It changed when I accepted some help. ​

In fact, everything changed. ​

I was sitting in my doctor's office, with my chin trembling and tears forming in my eyes, saying to her, "I'm okay. Everything's okay."​

Clearly, it wasn't. ​

I am forever grateful to her for caring enough to see my extreme distress beyond the mask I showed her. ​ ​

Her next words literally changed my life. ​

"Alissa, it's okay to take some help sometimes."​

I thought I had to just keep being strong. That's what I'd always done. ​

Plus, I thought it was my fault, so I wasn't really entitled to the help. ​

But here's a universal truth that I discovered: Sometimes, strength is weakness and vulnerability is strength. ​

That was one of the times. ​

I accepted the help, in the form of a prescription for Lexapro, an anti-anxiety medication. ​

Within 4 days, my entire life changed. And I'm not being dramatic. ​

The psychic pain stopped. ​

My thoughts unjumbled. ​

The continual inner trembling ceased. ​

I felt like I could breathe and think again. ​

I felt calm, for perhaps the first time in years...maybe ever. ​

And it was in that space, where all that terrible negativity lived for so long, that my true growth began. ​

Today, my approach to life is much kinder and gentler. I learned to like myself, in all my glorious imperfections. ​

More importantly, I think that I'm a good person. I care deeply about others, I want to help when I can, and I truly wish everyone well. ​

None of this would have been possible if I'd held on to that "strength" and said no to that help. ​

So, here's my advice to you for today: ​

Allow yourself to be vulnerable sometimes. You might find a greater strength than you could have ever imagined. ​

Sending you all so much love.

❤️ Alissa

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